Friday, August 9, 2013

How the CIA vets "Syrian Rebels"

This came to us from one of the Anonymous commenters here.
 AnonymousAugust 9, 2013 at 3:51 AM

I am completely unfamiliar with this place, myself. But, did enjoy the dialogue presented.
The absurdity of the so called 'vetting process' You know weapons going only go to the good guys ???

"So the decision has been taken, and the US will start training and arming the Syrian rebels after vetting them in Jordan. Now we all know what a capable organisation the CIA is so we should all be optimistic about this daring plan. The minor fuck-ups that the CIA has been involved in during its existence should not be a reason for us to doubt this carefully-considered plan. In order to illustrate the strength of its vetting programme, the CIA has allowed us to sit in on a few of those interviews scheduled to begin next month. Below is an accurate transcript of how they went:

CIA Agent: Come in please, I’m agent Johnson and this is agent Johnson. And you are?

Syrian rebel: Mohamed Asa’ad.

CIA Agent: Asa’ad? Like the president?

Syrian rebel: No, no, in Arabic it’s different, it’s Asa’ad, not Assad.

CIA Agent: It sounds the same to me.

Syrian rebel: No, it’s Ayen, not A, say Ayen. Asa’ad.

CIA Agent: Assad.

Syrian rebel: No, you’re not doing it right. Asa’ad.

CIA Agent: ok, never mind, I’ll call you Mohamed. Would you like a beer?

Syrian rebel: No, thank you.

CIA Agent: Is that for religious reasons?

Syrian rebel: No, but it’s 9 in the morning and I have a long day ahead.

CIA Agent: So you do drink beer?

Syrian rebel: Beer, whiskey, vodka, whatever. Although I drive the tank so I have to watch my drinking.

CIA Agent: What do you think of drugs Mr…er, Mohamed?

Syrian rebel: I tried some marijuana at college but I didn’t inhale.

CIA Agent: Is that for religious reasons?

Syrian rebel: No, I got a little bit nauseous to be honest and didn’t want to look soft. Have you had any?

CIA Agent: I’m the one asking questions. So are you a jihadi?

Syrian rebel: Ha, clever one. You nearly tripped me up there.

CIA Agent: So you are?!

Syrian rebel: No, that was a joke. Do you people not get sarcasm?

CIA Agent: We are trained to respect all cultures. It’s not something we do, but we will respect your right to be sarcastic. But please keep it to a minimum because it makes our job difficult.

Syrian rebel: This is going to be harder than the mukhabrat interrogation.

CIA Agent: What does that mean?

Syrian rebel: Sarcasm again.

CIA Agent: oh, I see. So I notice you have a beard, is that because you are a salafi?

Syrian rebel: No, no, it’s an homage to Orson Welles.

CIA Agent: Who’s Orson Welles?

Syrian rebel: You don’t know who Orson Welles is? He’s a fantastic American film director. Citizen Kane?

CIA Agent: No, I don’t know him either. So would you shave your beard?

Syrian rebel: I don’t know, would you grow a ponytail?

CIA Agent: It’s against CIA regulations.

Syrian rebel: Sarcasm, again. Sorry.

CIA Agent: Sir, I told you to keep it to a minimum. This is messing with our equipment.

Syrian rebel: ok, ok. Chill.

CIA Agent: So how exactly would you describe your political opinions?

Syrian rebel: I’m a registered Republican.

CIA Agent: Seriously?

Syrian rebel: Do you know anything about Syria?

CIA Agent: In my business, we don’t like to pollute our judgment with knowledge, it’s dangerous.

Syrian rebel: yeah, I heard.

CIA Agent: Remember, the CIA is here to help you.

Syrian rebel: Yes, I have some Yemeni friends, they speak very highly of you.

CIA Agent: Yemeni friends? Al-Qaeda?

Syrian rebel: Man, you’re obsessed. You can’t go around stereotyping people like that, what do your human resources people think? No, we met at a conference.

CIA Agent: ok, never mind. I think we’re just about finished here. Do you promise if we give you training and weapons not to use them against the USA, its citizens, armed forces or franchises?

Syrian rebel: Of course man, I love KFC.

CIA Agent: Great, sign here please.

Syrian rebel: Allahu Akbar, finally a result.

CIA Agent: What’s that?

Syrian rebel: It’s just an expression. Relax."


  1. Don't worry there will be something much more serious forthcoming

  2. Putin Aide Denies Anti-Assad Deal With Saudi Arabia

    Here is what had to say about the alleged meeting (recall it was none other than this site that "verified" that bandar had been killed).

    here is what he says in wake of meeting:
    A few hours later, his boss, Prince Bandar bin Sultan, was received in Moscow, not only by his counterpart, but also by President Vladimir Putin. A terse statement was issued shortly thereafter that the discussions had focused "on a wide range of bilateral issues and the situation in the Middle East and North Africa." The press service released a photograph of the reception by the President and an old photograph of the Saudi spy chief, decidedly inaccessible since the attack which targeted him in July 2012 in response to the assassination of military leaders in Syria

    Today the EIA is out again with an OPEC hit piece once again fracking up over us Shale production.

    last week another Saudi ministry shakeup with the Ast. Defense Minister getting replaced.

    Press TV who reported the Bandar death also has the king brain dead.

    Elaborate stagecraft?

  3. for laughs at the very least.

    I think we can safely say that Egypt isn't buying any more #US propoganda :)

    Knew I'ed find something in comments at zerohedge. Right bright people frequent there at times.


  4. I really like this post of your's. Keep up the good work.

  5. Brilliant in so many ways!


  6. Why such a vicious and ongoing campaign to discredit DSK?
    In the meantime he has signed on to board of Rosneft Bank and now is being engaged by the gov't of Serbia as an adviser (after the coalition fractured and leaves the Milosevic loyalists with a slim majority...)

  7. Pakistan being walked down an Iraqi path:

    Feb-12: EDITORIAL: Congressional hearing on Balochistan -











    Jul: Pakistan signs $5.3B IMF deal



    Then consider in the past few days the escalation of hostilities in Kashmir and the reported cross border raids just as bilateral talks are scheduled to start..

    1. Also keep this in mind as Dilma heads into elections

      Brazil says Europe bailouts (IMF) should be reworked: Brazil sets fresh sparks with IMF over Greek bailout rebuke

      From 2009
      Brazil’s Lula Says World Bank, IMF Both Need Reforms

      And Earlier this year:
      Brazil slams US and Europe for delaying promised reforms in the IMF

      Jun/Jul protests

    2. Pakistan / India provocation...
      Indian Defence Minister A.K. Antony told parliament on Tuesday that a group of about 20 heavily armed militants accompanied by “persons dressed in Pakistan Army uniforms” had ambushed an army patrol earlier that day near the 740 kilometres Line of Control (LoC) in the Himalayan region.

    3. thanks, I have a whole bunch of stuff earmarked on that subject, but, can I get it together?

      Hope so

  8. Leftists for NATO intervention
    It is amusing: leftists for NATO intervention in Syria and/or Libya are rather embarrassed. They will spend a lifetime trying to claim that they really had not meant to support NATO intervention, but that their words were taken out of context, and that they really did not mean what they said, etc. Of course, leftists who supported NATO intervention in Libya (and later in Syria) not only erred politically and morally but they come across--in light of what has transpired in Libya and Syria--as dumb.

    Theories on Arab uprisings
    There are two positive aspects to the non-positive (violent and brutal) progression of Arab uprisings: 1) people are less likely to speak about "the Arab spring"; 2) we no more have dumb people writing about how Gene Sharp inspired the Arab populations.

    Did anyone but me notice that the new Saudi-appointed leader of the Syrian National Coalition speaks with a Saudi--not Syrian--accent?

    Hilarious: hilarious
    So Syrian rebels yesterday claimed that they attacked the convoy of Bashshar Al-Asad. Now we know that the story was not true, and that he showed up on TV driving his own car. Yet, Western media are so desperate for a story of victory by the rebels that they are willing--as Anne Barnard has done--to write a whole article about a false claim. False, damn it.

    Western groupies of the Syrian "revolution" know no limits: they even defend the implementation of Shari`ah
    “Such developments seem to confirm the widespread Western perception of the implementation of sharia as a heavy-handed imposition of an Islamic lifestyle. This is undeniably part of the reality, but there is more to the establishment of Islamic jurisdictions in the rebel-held regions of Syria than a drive to impose public morality. Indeed, this is a marginal concern compared with more urgent issues such as the need to rebuild state institutions and to restore a minimal level of law and order.”

    Human Rights Watch office in Beirut
    Imagine if the Human Rights Watch office in Beirut was around in WWII to cover Nazi Germany. Just as it now calls innocent `Alawite victims "Shabbihah", it would have called Jewish victims in Nazi Germany Shabbihah

    1. brian

      Angryarab has been a purveyor of the Israeli propaganda against both Libya and Syria. He probably didn't call for NATO intervention (I don't know - I cant stomach his hypocrisy enough to read his material since Libya), but he's been an important Israeli asset for misinforming progressives (a phony left version of the Juan Cole zio-marketing scheme used to suck in liberals, centrists and the mildly right). As such, because he portrays himself as, and is widely thought of being, and sold as, by others, as being oppositional to the Israeli-American oligarchy, his misrepresentation of both the Libyan and Syrian governments with subtle infusions of zionist lies about them has done a lot of damage among the left.

      Angryarab was also one of the shabbes goy hand maidens to Israel involved in this Jewish zionist stunt (top name in the list):

      Not Quite "Ordinary Human Beings" --
      Anti-Imperialism and the Anti-Humanist Rhetoric of Gilad Atzmon

      His own smears:

      That whole Jewish zionist campaign against Atzmon was to smear him as antisemitic, and prevent people from reading or engaging with Atzmon's views. This is a standard Jewish zionist practice of shutting out those critical to Israeli interests.

      Note that I used Israeli interests, not Jewish interests, there. This is where these stealth zionists, such as angry arab & co., expose their roles. They don't go after those who are critical of Jewish interests with anything like the same enthusiasm they attack and smear people like Atzmon or Shamir. Look at a character like Kevin MacDonald. He is a real antisemite (and a bigot against every group except whites) who is widely know for his bigotry and phony "research" showing the "superiority" of the "white Christian race". His political views are also of the same bent as the far right nazi sort. Supposedly the exact opposite of what angryarab types abhor. The guy is much worse than Atzmon (from the pov angryarab & co. pretend they represent) and is also vastly more influential that Atzmon). Yet these stealth zionists have never done squat about MacDonald. MacDonald doesn't threaten Israeli interests, and his anti-Jewish stuff is in line with zionist support for white supremacy. Both, because MacDonald's white supremacy matches that of the zionist hierarchy, and the anti-semitism he includes in this is precisely the sort of nazi like anti-semitism zionists want presented in order to provide a false reasoning for their existence, their exploitational mind-set, and their brutality against weaker groups.

      Unlike, MacDonald, Atzmon's advocacy is a threat to Israel, so the zionists attacked him instead, and rather than highlight Atzmon's political views, which are an easy target to dismantle, they are essentially rightwing pap - though not as fictional as the nazi-like MacDonald sort. Instead, the steal zionist crew did the usual Jewish zionist smear of falsely calling somebody an anti-semite, based upon imaginary, false or no evidence at all. This gave away their game, and announced who they worked for.

      All the signers of that smear "petition" at the mrzine link above are Israeli agents. No exceptions. And should be seen as part of the Israeli control apparatus used against the left to prevent the left from effectively opposing Israel and its goals.

      It is important that people know who these Israeli agents are so they can understand the extent of the damage these people have done to the left in neutralising for Israeli, and corporate fascist interests. The Kevin MacDonalds and angryarabs are on the same side.

      вот так

    2. well bok tak after thatv little rant, what do you think of the content of Angry arabs posts?

    3. "Supposedly the exact opposite of what angryarab types abhor."

      That sentence came out garbled. Should have been something more like this:

      This is supposedly what the angryarab types represent themselves as abhorring.

      вот так

    4. brian

      "little rant"

      Rant? You aint seen nuttin yet. ;)

      "what do you think of the content of Angry arabs posts?"

      He's posing. The posts contain very little content at all, and could be considered essentially content free. The purpose of these stealth zionists is to first co-opt the left, by writing things in line with left views, then stealthily coax and trick people into accepting the Israeli pov. Those who see through their scam, or refuse to be herded or browbeaten into submission to the Israeli pov are smeared, "swarmed"(1), censored, and finally "herem'd"(2).

      Angryarab is now condemning the terrorists in Syria, as most former supporters of them on the "left" are doing, now that support for these war criminals means total credibility loss. Before he was more interested in smearing the Syrian government, and those who opposed Israel's war against Syria. Here is a blatant example of this zionist quisling doing just that:

      Lizzie Phelan: propaganda for the Syrian regime

      And here is the response:

      My reply to the "Angry Arab News Service"

      (BTW, you might recognise a name among the comments ;) )

      These stealth zionists co-opting the left follow specific patterns. Angryarab first condemns the target country of Israeli aggression with the same bs the Jewish run msm uses, but tailors the manure to elicit the desired response from people with a left or progressive pov. Once the regime change op is finished (or now in Syria, failed) and it's too late and the damage has been done, they discover the "rebels" may not be so angelic as initially portrayed, and will begin condemning them also.

      A variation on this marketing pattern used to manipulate people's views in favour of Israeli wants is the "pox on all of them" approach. In this the propagandist dissuades people from opposing the Israeli actions by making the target government appear not worth defending. The intended result is people, while opposed to the Israeli op, will not be motivated to defend the victim, and will not very actively oppose the actions.

      By "pattern", I mean they run these scams over and over. In angryarab's case, he did the same spiel about Libya. First, made sure the Israeli "big lies" about Libya were well intrenched in people's psyche and then after it was too late, said "oh, my, the militant side has some naughty people in it, and I don't like NATO getting involved, afterall". If I remember correctly, he propagandised the Israeli "big lies" about Iran's "green color revolution", at least initially.

    5. 2nd part:

      Angryarab is part of a large network of Israeli agents (sayanim and shabbes goys) who work to make the left part of the zionist sphere of control. Rather than give these quislings credit as leftists and as part of the opposition to Israel-America, they should be exposed as the frauds they are. These are not cases of pundits "making a bad call" and then correcting it, it is a well thought out strategy of mass people control, using think tank devised psychological manipulation. As soon as Israel gets another war going against another victim, these sods will be right back at their old tricks of neutralising left opposition and preparing the ground on the left for acceptance of the Israeli crimes. As Israel is far from finished with these wars, that means millions more innocents killed and hurt to satisfy their greed.

      These phonies know exactly what they are doing. They know that these Israeli ops kill millions and harmfully affect many millions more. It takes a special kind of person to sell such misery, while at the same time, pretend they care about the suffering of the victims. Saying they are like a real estate agent who knowingly sells uncleaned up asbestos toxified land to be a local children's playground is an understatement.

      (1) swarmed: term coined by Shamir, "S.W.A.R.M.", for the ubiquitous zionist Jews and shabbes goys who spam and disrupt sites, people, organisations, etc. when these are critical of zionist/Jewish interests.

      (2) herem: "is the highest ecclesiastical censure in the Jewish community. It is the total exclusion of a person from the Jewish community. It is a form of shunning, and is similar to vitandus excommunication in the Catholic Church. Cognate terms in other Semitic languages include the Arabic term ḥarām (forbidden, taboo, off-limits, sacred or immoral), and the Ethiopic `irm (meaning accursed)." - from wikipedia. RE: the actions of trying to get people to shun others and exclude them from the discourse, such as the petitions against Atzmon. These acts of shunning are essentially Jewish in nature, so seeing activists of supposedly Muslim backgrounds practicing them is an obvious indicator of who controls these activists and pundits.

      вот так

    6. Angryarab as sayanim?! He isn't the only one who lets anger get the better of him.
      No he isn't sayanim : he has been confused in the past on Syria And Libya . The quotes I give tho are the way things are

    7. brian

      "Angryarab as sayanim?"

      He's Jewish? I believe the appropriate terms are shabbes goy and Israeli agent for what angryarab is. I've dealt with this duplicitous crowd for 10 years plus. After a while, one notices the patterns of behaviour are quite consistent. Every single signer of these lists can safely be pegged as an Israeli agent:

      The smarter Israeli stealth advocates abstained from signing those, you'll notice. :)

      "he has been confused in the past on Syria And Libya."

      And Iran. Who knows which ones before that? Iraq? Afghanistan? What country on Israel's list of things to do will be the next one he gets "confused about"? Any guesses?

      My bet is he will go after Syrian support for Hezbollah (mimic the Jewish msm - do a Fisk) should Israel continue their war against Lebanon.

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    8. bot tak and brian
      thanks for discussing this in a rational, non personal attack manner
      You can't even imagine how much I appreciate that! :)

  9. Egypt claims jihadists fired US Hellfire missile at government office

    I call BS. Not on the fact a hellfire missile hit the North Sinai Security Directorate office, but the fact a 'jihadists' could have done it.

    A hellfire needs to communicate with the fire control computer on the launching aircraft to aquire a target and put the warhead in 'prearm' mode before launch. Full arming of the warhead only occures after a time delay once the lauch command is given and the motor actually fires AND confirmation the missile has left the aircraft.

    Additionally, the fire control computer needs to communicate with the flight control computer to get the OK to launch. See, the aircraft has to be in a certain condition for a safe launch. You don't want to have the aircraft in a negative G condition and have the missile slam into the wing.

    Also note, this is an 'F' version of the missile meaning it is semi-active laser guided.

    So what Egypt is saying is a jihadists has a launcher, the fire control computer and a flight control computer, the system to aquire the target and launch it, and a laser designator, and the right power supplies, cables for all these goodies?????? ok...

    maybe this story below tells where the missile actually came from.

    1. "Last month, Tel Aviv said it had installed rocket launchers near the Sinai Peninsula to counter possible attacks from militants fighting the Egyptian government in the Peninsula"

      Has the US provided Israel with these types of rockets?
      I don't know?
      (wouldn't doubt it)

    2. Also, james if your about is this related to the piece by...can't recall his name????
      the other blogger???

  10. Israeli PM Netanyahu to undergo surgery

    "Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will undergo a hernia operation, his office said late on Saturday, a procedure that appeared unlikely to disrupt plans to advance peace talks with the Palestinians next week."

    This was the photo accompanying thise news report:

    Love that Russian sense of humour. :)

    вот так

    1. Nuttyahoo looks as if he is wiping tears

    2. Yeah. What a cry baby. He knows he's going to have to get a "shot" at the doctor's. :)

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